Holiday Joys

Your “Happy Holiday” Tool Box for a season of Love, Joy, and Gratitude

Oh, the Holidays…

As the holidays approach, we are often reminded of the beauty, love, and joy that surround us. We feel extra gratitude for the abundance of food we eat on Thanksgiving, our sister sitting next to us on Christmas, or having the means to give our children a gift every night of Hanukkah. During the holidays, the small annoyances of daily life don’t seem to bring us down as much. We learn to be more present in the moment, enjoying it for what it is and whom we are with. 

However, like anything else in life, the holidays could bring along some problems. Things such as inevitable family conflicts, an overwhelming desire to please the people we are with, or simply a reminder of why we choose not to see Uncle Freddy on a daily basis. When these issues occur, we may break away from our cheery holiday spirit and find ourselves caught up in our negative thoughts, ruminating about what he or she did that annoyed us. 

In the midst of feeling this way, especially during the holidays, it can be beneficial to have your very own “Happy Holiday” Tool Box consisting of techniques and approaches to bring yourself back to the present moment and enjoy it for what it is. By practicing gratitude, savoring, and resilience while reminding yourself of your meaning and the value of your relationships, you will have an easier time staying in that cheery holiday spirit during and after the season is over.

The “Happy Holiday” Tool Box

Gratitude

Practicing an attitude of gratitude on a daily basis will turn what you have right now into enough. When you find yourself in a good mood, try basking in those feelings. Be mindful of the emotions that you feel and the thoughts you’re thinking. Say a simple “thank you” for your current grateful mood.

On the days you find yourself annoyed or frustrated, try using it as opportunity to practice gratitude and switching your perspective – especially during the holidays! For example, if Uncle Freddy is getting on your nerves again, remind yourself that you’re blessed to have a family to be surrounded by. If you find yourself complaining about the food you have to eat, remember that you’re fortunate enough to have something to eat.

Here are some gratitude techniques to practice:

• Write a list of 10 blessings in your life each morning and night.

• Write a gratitude letter to someone you’re especially thankful for this holiday season.

• Create a gratitude jar by writing something you’re thankful for each day of December. At the end of the month, start reading one blessing a day (this is a great activity to do with your kids!)

Savoring

Like everything in life, “this too shall pass” – the holidays will pass, the season will pass, even the difficulties will pass. Therefore, it makes sense to savor the present moment and get as much out of it as possible. The benefit to savoring is that you ground yourself in the here and now, truly feeling and experiencing what is happening without letting it pass you by.

Try practicing these savoring techniques to get the most out of the present moment:

• Share how you feel with others! Let the person next to you how you’re appreciating the moment.

• At least once per day, take a “mindful moment” and notice something that you see, hear, taste, smell, and touch.

• Focus completely on what you are doing. For example, while you are eating, instead of talking or looking at your phone, notice how the food tastes and feels in your mouth.

Resilience

Resilience is having the ability to “bounce back” and cope effectively with difficult situations. Two people can experience the same thing but recover in very different ways. A resilient person may fall down but is able to get back up, noticing and appreciating the lessons learned. Resilience during both positive and negative times means to deal with situations with competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control.

The good news is, is that we can all build resilience by practicing:

• Put it in perspective! If you find yourself in that cheery holiday spirit, appreciate the way you feel and remember to stay in the present moment. If you find yourself annoyed or frustrated, remember that the only person you can control is yourself and how you interpret and respond to events.

• Take care of yourself – pay attention to your own feelings, needs, and emotions. Make yourself a priority by engaging in activities that you enjoy.

• Focus on growth. Remind yourself that life is like a roller coaster. Both the ups and the downs are inevitable. Therefore, to get the most out of this roller coaster you are on, enjoy the “ups” and learn from the “downs.”

Meaning & Relationships

In the midst of the holiday season, we can easily be reminded of our personal meaning and the value of our relationships. We may feel accomplished and proud for hosting Christmas at our house, accommodating our entire husband’s family while maintaining a smile on our face. We may look around and gain a sense of genuine gratitude for the relationships we’ve built throughout the years. 

However, as problems arise, we can find ourselves questioning the value of ourselves, as well as our relationships. And these are the times that it’s most important to remember our personal purpose and the people we have in our lives. 

Here are some tips about how to do so:

• Change your questions! Instead of asking “what am I doing wrong?”, ask yourself, “what have I been doing right and what has been the impact?”

• Randomly call your best friend or your favorite aunt to be reminded of the relationship that you have with them.

• Look around and think about how you influence, impact, and contribute to the people around you. Take notice of the meaning and value that you give to others.

Just like Santa needs his reindeers to bring him around, we need our “Happy Holiday” tool box to sustain our cheery holiday spirit during and after the gifts are dispersed.