Permission to be Human
A Boditude Boost
Be True to Your Reality
The permission to be human… what exactly does it mean? The permission to be human ultimately means being true to our reality by accepting the good, bad, and ugly emotions that come along with it. Let’s face it – we will never be able to experience a constant high, no matter how badly we might want to. There are two types of people who don’t experience anger, sadness, disappointment, envy – dead people and psychopaths!
Resistance meets Acceptance
We tend to resist some of these emotions because we feel that something is wrong with us when we feel badly. We may find ourselves feeling ashamed when we don’t feel happy because of all the good that surrounds us. Have you ever said to yourself, “how can I possibly be feeling badly right now when I have so much?!” When we resist these emotions, we’re essentially telling ourselves that it’s not okay to not be okay.
On the other side of resisting our emotions is the permission to experience them. Experiencing, feeling, and allowing our emotions to be as they are gives us the freedom to welcome how we feel in the moment without criticizing ourselves. When we do this, we accept rather than resist.
To understand what it feels like to accept and resist something, think for a moment about ocean waves crashing onto the sand when they finally reach the shore. Now, imagine yourself in the ocean, swimming and riding these waves. Acceptance feels smooth, as if you were riding with the ocean waves. They’ll effortlessly bring you with them when they hit the sand. Resistance, on the other hand, feels as if you were going against the waves, forcing yourself into the ocean by running into, jumping over, or entering through them. Which takes more energy and effort? Resistance.
Benefits
When we learn to give ourselves the permission to be human, life becomes lighter. Rather than trying to fight or defeat our reality or how we’re truly feeling, we actively accept it. By doing so, we can then choose how we act on our emotions. For example, you’re feeling extremely angry at your friend. By accepting your anger, you mindfully feel and allow this emotion to arise. Then, you consciously think about how you want to proceed. Instead of lashing out on your friend, you wait for yourself to relax and have a calm and effective conversation with them.
How to Practice
Like anything else, giving yourself the permission to be human is a practice. It takes a daily effort to focus on accepting who you are and your emotions that arise without resisting them. Here are a few ways to practice…
Mindfulness – When you find yourself resisting how you’re feeling or thinking, take a step back and simply be mindful of it. Just notice your feelings, where you feel them in your body, and the thoughts running through your mind. Practice simply noticing instead of judging them.
A Space of Unconditional Acceptance – This space of acceptance comes in the form of confiding in close friends and family. We give ourselves the permission to be human when we open up, become vulnerable, and allow ourselves to truly feel what we feel.
Journal – Getting your thoughts, emotions, and feelings out on paper can be therapeutic in and of itself. It allows you to take whatever is going on in your mind and transfer it to a place you can see in front of you.
Giving ourselves the permission to be human ultimately means being true to our reality, accepting who we are and how we feel in each moment.